The Broken Teddy Bear

It appears that I have a thing for broken teddy bears. It's bringing no good into my life. I've always loved the broken teddy bear (BTB). I figure no one else is going to love it so I need to give it even extra cuddles and extra love and make it feel even more special than the shiny, new teddy bears.

Exhibit A, Flatmate # 1 2006:
He came over. Said he was dossing with friends as he and his girlf had split up as she wanted children and he didn't. His friends (that were a couple) had been arguing and he felt like he needed to move immediately. I helped him move, made sure he was comfortable, had everything he needed. Said it was fine for him to move in before his cheque had cleared as it was obviously an emergency.
Result: He didn't ever pay me his deposit or rent for several months. Avoided me like the plague. Trashed his room. Stole my laptop and several other items whilst avoiding all camera surveillance in my foyer. Left my front door open. Took the keys with him so I had to get all my locks changed. Turns out he does this on a serial basis and the police aren't able to track him down for all his petty theft and fraud.

Exhibit B, Flatmate # 2 2006:
We call this one Fatpants. I met this girl on the trading floor at work. I took pity on her and made friends with her. The story is that she moved here from Australia at the request of her Welsh boyf. After being here for six weeks he told her that he didn't want to go out with her anymore. She moved to London but didn't have any friends. I gave her uber discounted rent so she could afford it and be closer to her work rather than her usual two hour journey.
Result: She was continually out on the drink in Canary Wharf (to the point where the guys at Corneys know her name and her life story), came home and would break glasses, make huge mess in the kitchen and on the carpet. She never ever washed the bed linen in the months that she lived there. She brought home several different random boys that she met in quality venues like Church. Scared all people who met her with her freakish, upside down Cleopatra-esque eyeliner and badly done faux breasts. We no longer speak.

Exhibit C, Flatmate # 3 2006:
Onion Ring. I don't feel the need to say more on this subject right now... enough has been said.

I remember being a little girl at Disneyland and everyone was clamoured around Pooh Bear giving him loads of attention and hugs. I looked behind me and saw Eeyore all alone and looking sad. I ran over to him and told him I loved him more than anything else and gave him a huge hug. Poor Eeyore. He came up to me during the parade, gave me a cuddle and everything.

There are a couple of theories going around at the moment as to how I get myself into these situations due to my clearly rubbish obsession with the BTB.

Theory # 1:
I am hoping that by giving all my love and help to the BTB that no one else will hug, it will love me even more in return. I also don't need to worry too much about being rejected by said BTB seeing as anyone else would have a hard time being so lovely to it.

Theory # 2:
By focusing all my energies on the BTB and fixing it's problems and making it feel great I can ignore my own BTB issues and sweep them under the colloquial carpet. This then leads to a vicious cycle where I get myself into hot water thanks to my own problems getting me into trouble due to lack of attention and actioning plus that of my new found counter part.

Oh dear. It could even be both theories. Combined it's just a recipe for disaster. JB has mentioned that perhaps I should just stand back and take myself away from a situation where I have to pick a TB at all. If we take away the need for the choice, I can't make the wrong one. If I become a TB myself for a while, perhaps the right person will pick me? What if they're not the kind person that can deal with a BTB? What if they drop me and break me more??? What if my arm falls off or something??? I don't think I like this option either!

I'm wondering if I should just back slowly and quietly out of the toy store all together...

xxx