My Baby Love

My Baby is poorly. I'm so sad. I want to go home and give him a cuddle so much. I feel so bad that I haven't been back for so long and he thinks I don't love him. I miss him so much. No one smells as good or gives as good cuddles as my Muschka.

I'm too sad for a wardrobe summary. It's essentially a black stretch skirt with a red gucci-esque pattern and a black shirt.

I'm in my Thirties! Woo!

I've had one of my best birthdays ever! Yesterday was just terrific! When I got into work birthday breakfast was set up and ready! How amazing is that! I was the most spoitl girl in London while it took over an hour to work my way through the present unwrapping whilst eating veggie chocolate cake! Yumm!

Above is the darling notebook I got as part of my present from my buddies at work. They made me feel like a princess for a day. Have you ever used a pink crystal encrusted mouse and a pink pen with feathers that lights up? I do now and I don't think I can ever go back! It's beyond amazing!

Precious and Pouncer even figured out how to send me a bunch of roses! They're such clever little kittens!!!

Birthday wardrobe summary: Black suede peep toe sling backs, black hosiery, grey Givenchy-esque dress. Hair: retro-esque pony tail. Make up: Era spray on foundation, limited edition stila pink, peach and chocolate eye shadows, Chanel black eyeliner, electric pink Stila creme cheek colour, Stila lipstick in Lisa, Stila lipgloss in Raspberry.

Mood: Euphoric, Sheepish after being so spoilt, Pink!

xxx

Fear of 31?

I'm pooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlllllllllyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! I thought there was a small, furry animal burrowing around my insides yesterday and went home thinking it was just from possibly eating carbs and protein too close together or some such. A Carmen Electra Fit To Strip workout didn't help me. An aloe and garlic irrigation gave me some temporary relief. I thought I had sorted myself out - hooray!!!!! Flash forward to 2.30 this morning. Three hours of trying to get back to sleep and not being able to due to the horrific aches I was suffering! Luckily little Pouncer was being a snuggle cat and was keeping me company while I lay awake contemplating getting up to do some housework.

This morning I put my brave face on and came into work and dug into my morning porridge. Clearly I took my carb blockers along with it! Rock on 12.00 and lack of blood sugar regularity requires carbs - many and quickly. What a brilliant excuse to eat chippies!!!!!!!! I adore chips with vinegar and ketchup! They were heaven. Except that little furry animal is digging its way though my insides again. Do you think it could be a marsupial?

I'm wondering if I'm subconsciously fearful of my birthday tomorrow. I'm ageing as we speak! The other thing that makes me sad is that the RSW didn't accept my heartfelt apology for the meanness that was my ranting blog entry. Do you think I'll ever be forgiven?

Wardrobe Summary: poorly person outfit: Black pumps, black opaques, black long sleeved dress, pink scarf, grey cape jacket.

Public Apologies, Retractions and a Little Burlesque Dancing...

SD and I had our birthday party on Friday night. We dragged our friends to a burlesque and pole dancing class. I am pleased to say that we took away a posse of converts that had a brilliant time and are keen to do it again! Yay!!! It was so much fun and I totally discovered my inner pin up girl!!! Photos to follow as soon as I can figure out how on earth to get the images from my phone onto this website!!! It's so much harder than everyone makes it sound!

Meanwhile, as part of the evening's fun, SD related my misbehaviours of the previous weekend. RSW - I'm more than sorry for my rant last week. SD informs me there was more to it than I remember - details of which are not appropriate for my lovely little blog page. However, I'm really sorry and if I could take it back, I would. But I will say that the tantrum was terribly cathartic for more reasons that just the weekend so a thousand thanks to you for giving me a ranting platform.

SD - I had noooooo idea how troublesome I had been. No one needs a 5' 4" 3 year old to look after at a fun party. I promise to be properly behaved forever more.

Wardrobe Summary: Black pumps, sheer hosiery, charcoal high waisted Ungaro skirt, black top with loopy detail. Black strap watch, gold and white gold bangle. Bulgari frameless glasses. Bejewelled butterfly hair pin. Make Up: Stila limited edition eye shadows in pink, apricot and chocolate, Stila creme cheek colour in electric pink, Philosophy Kiss Me.

Fashionista Diaries

You are all to start following Soapnet's Fashionista Diaries. My sweet sweet TP is in it and is the best character they have to offer! The whole thing would be nothing without her fabulousness!!! I'm like a proud moma.

Meanwhile, SD and I are having a joint b'day party tonight. I don't want to go!!!!! I'm having an uber fat-spotty-hideous-socially unacceptable day. I want to be back under the covers in my lovely comfy bed in denial that the light of day has broken and watching Precious and Pouncer try to tear each other's ears off. They're sooooo adorable. Precious was having massive separation anxiety and wanting constant cuddles when I was getting ready this morning.

Tonight's "celebration" includes a pole dancing and burlesque dance class before we go to a club. My wardrobe solution to this dilemma is a super short light khaki dress that has a pleated skirt on it with dark maroon short shorts underneath and super high brown gucci peep toes.

Wardrobe Summary for the day and post dance class: Black suede peep toes, black opaque tights, seriously short purple French Connection dress with key hole back and flared sleeves from the elbow down. Textured pony tail. Make Up: Limited edition peach, pink and chocolate Stila eyeshadows, Chanel black eyeliner, electric pink Stila creme cheek colour, dark pink Stila lipstick, Stila lipgloss in Fruitpunch.

Somewhat Calmer

I think it's mostly the lack of sleep I've been getting thanks to Precious and Pouncer (in the picture) keeping me awake with their nocturnal adventuring - but I'm a little calmer today than I was yesterday. RSW emailed me to say I was tres far away from the truth yesterday. I'm not sure how that works when I was mostly ranting about how he makes me feel and how I feel towards him. Who does he think he is telling me how accurate I am about how I feel? He's beyond evil.

Meanwhile, I had therapy this morning. My poor therapist, I started off telling her how I've started my studies and I got my new job. She was thrilled. Then I launched into how my weekend went and how I've not been able to eat, etc since. We talked about how I need to be prepared for set backs in the near future in case things don't go brilliantly with the cottage and the job while it's all in the pipeline. I don't deal with stress like this at all so it's felt like there is a spin cycle going on in my stomach ever since. The only upside of all this emotional turmoil is weight loss. Hooray!

It's terribly good timing. SD and I are having a joint birthday party on Friday. We're going for a private pole dancing lesson with friends. Well, her friends at least. T was the only one of my friends actually able to make the date once pushed to RSVP. Another subject thoroughly discussed this morning. Meanwhile, seeing as I need to get dressed up in short shorts and a little top with heels for the lesson, I'm really not going to start complaining about the lack of appetite. In fact, bring it on!!!!!

Happy Birthday, SD. I think you're gorgeous and terrific and stunning.

Wardrobe Summary: I brushed my hair! In fact, I even washed it! It's now wavy and up in a bejewelled pin in a messy bun. Black pumps, sheer hosiery, grey Audrey/Givenchey-esque dress, silver cuff, black strap watch. Make Up: hot pink Stila creme cheek colour, Philosophy kiss me lips, mascara.

RSW HATRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The RSW really must be put out to the Island of Lost Men never to return. I hate him. He's evil. WHY would he show up to a party I was most obviously going to be at? WHY would he insist on speaking to me? WHY would he ask me to dance with him then drag me outside to have an argument when I said no? WHY would I then feel bad and share my bottle of champagne with him? WHY do I not remember anything after that and have to hear in the morning about how he tried to kiss me on his way home? WHY would he involve me in his emotional messiness when he KNOWS I'm still on the happy pills and in therapy after all the terrible things he has done to me??? WHY did I need the lovely girl behind the bar to give me three bottles of champagne all to myself so I could get through the evening without having a nervous breakdown? WHY does he have the power to emotionally crumple me up like a used tissue that he's blown his nose on? WHY does he only have an interest in me when he's bored or off his trolley? I HATE HIM! I HATE HATE HATE HIM! I wish I could put a photo of his head on this knife holder and take out my HATRED for him on it! Thank GOD I have therapy in the morning. It's all too much for one little girl.

Wardobe summary: Too bored to bother with getting dressed up today. Black stacked pumps, sheer hosiery, grey and pale blue plaid dress with Westwood style neckline. Hair: pony tail with hair unbrushed since Saturday afternoon. Make up - stila hot pink creme cheek colour, mascara, Stila Grape lipgloss.

Mood: manic depressive psychopathic.

Good Times...Bad Times

Good Times

• I have a new job that I really like
• I'm a nerd and am enjoying my work related studies
• I'm going to a party on the weekend with my darling SD

Bad Times

• I have a conference call for an hour that I've been on for two minutes - I'm already bored and not absorbing any of the info. Oh dear
• I still haven't exchanged on my flat
• It looks like I will have to wait a couple of weeks between moving out of my flat and into the new place
• Do I want to get a puppy to keep my kittens company or am I just taking it too far - issues that keep me awake at night.

Wardrobe Summary

Not my best day. Black pumps, sheer hosiery, grey plaid skirt, white short sleeved top, silver bangle, black strap watch, silver and baltic amber necklace. Hair: velcro rollered pony tail. Make Up: limited edition stila pink, peach and chocolate eyeshadows, chanel black eyeliner, stila electric pink creme cheek colour, stila bright pink lipstick, stila fruit punch lip gloss. Clear polished nails.

Please Explain

Please find following a list of things confusing me at the current moment:

• How is the Onion Ring still in my flat?


• How is the Onion Ring still drunken?


• Why haven't the parental Rings not been in touch with me again?


• Why haven't the parental Rings come to get the Onion Ring out of a drunken hole?


• How does the Onion Ring survive on a diet of pickles, Indian take out, Dominoes, wine?


• Why does the Onion Ring get joy out of seeing the neighbours getting kicked out of their apartment seeing as their landlord hadn't been paying his mortgage? (bad man)


• Will I ever figure out the pattern to the Onion Ring's erratic mood swings?


• What does the Onion Ring do in her room for all those hours? - Those of you that know about "the monster" please don't even go there!


• What will I do for the Onion Ring's upcoming birthday so I don't look like a grinch but I don't go too far out of my way?


• Will I shake this feeling of cabin fever with a bar hopping trip to Soho tonight?


• Will my uber cheap hair cut and colour tomorrow afternoon be a good or a v v v v v bad idea?


• How is it that I always gain two pounds on a Friday, work it off all week being virtuous and put it on again every Friday?


• Why is it that I can no longer sleep in my own flat? I require the peace I get from being in the homes of others now, yet I love my bed beyond all others.


• Will my flat ever look stylish again or has the OR trashed it forever?


• Will I ever get my head around limescale and it's removal from my shower.


• Will I be able to get cheap airfares to get home to my beautiful, wonderful yet poorly baby Kingston?


• Will I ever rise above the bad mood I woke to this morning?


• Will I ever feel truly stylish?


• Will I ever stop moaning - well - I'm going to relieve you of it for the moment so I guess that's a little progress.

Wardrobe Summary: black to match my mood. Black faux snakeskin stacked pumps, black opaque tights, black short v-neck dress, pink scarf. Hair: Down and dirrty blonde. Make Up: Nars Emotional Rescue palette, red lipstick. Diamond Rings, Black strap watch.

Floss. x

Onion Ring Riots

Holy Moses, where do I start? Onion Ring kicked off on me on Tuesday night. We had a screaming and shouting match in front of GK till almost 2 in the morning. I was a depleted and shattered little Floss on Wednesday morning. After OR finally went to bed she did Karaoke to the X-Factor song till around 3am. The whole argument was over the fact that GK is staying on the pull out couch for the moment and OR doesn't have access to the tv and Sky after she goes to bed.

She spent Wednesday and Thursday threatening legal action against me if I didn't reinstate the living room during the evenings immediately. I don' respond well when dictated to in my own home and was tres immature. I removed the sky box from the tv cabinet. Oh my. The Onion Ring was horribly dysfunctional.

Wednesday night she went out to see a friend and stumbled in around midnight. She proceeded to again attempt hitting the high notes to the x-factor song over and over. A Moment Like This has been running through my mind on a continual basis ever since - even in my sleep! Yikes!

I popped my head into her room while she was out and was met with such a fright. Broken wine glasses, clothes and dirty laundry everywhere, empty and half drunk wine bottles. It was scary. The sobbing from her room after she got home totally pushed me over the edge and my dislike for the OR morphed into concern for her mental and physical well being. I've laughed and marvelled at her ability to consume large amounts of wine for so long that I've finally admitted it. She's an alcoholic. Her erratic behaviour and abusiveness have now hit record highs. It's a serious matter now and I just couldn't go on living with this person and being somewhat responsible for her. She doesn't appear to have any friends that are stepping up to look after or support her. No one is confronting her about her condition or offering her their support.

I'm the last person compelled to help the Onion Ring. Especially after she called me "evil" and "the devil" and almost took a swing at me the other night. But someone has to do it. This complex and drowning creature can't be left to fend for herself in a sea of wine and mood enhancers. So I was a bit of a sneaky super sleuth and found an email address for her Dad. Then I made pretty much the worst phone call of my life. I Had her Mum and Dad on the phone at the same time and I've asked for their help and told them I believe she has a drinking problem. Can you imagine telling some one's parents their daughter is an alcoholic? My colleagues were there when I made the call and noticed all the purple splotches on my face and neck when I got off the phone. The most obvious symptom I get when I'm highly emotional. V unattractive and no amount of make up will cover it up.

So her Mum is arriving next week and has asked me to look into treatments and arrange some appointments for her. I feel really uncomfortable doing this. Who am I to be organising treatments and deciding what program the OR goes on? I've done it totally out of guilt as I'm on a shame spiral for having had to make the call.

So last night I went home with a little pressie for GK for being with the OR all day and calming her down from her rage for me. I also took a pretty candle for the OR with the sky viewing card stuck to the top of it as a peace offering. I figure she's going to need to be as calm as possible over the next few days as she's about to go through 5 weeks of treatment hell. She drank nearly two bottles and was too spaced out to even speak to the pizza delivery guy when her dinner turned up. She was passed out by 11 and up watching sky, crashing around and spilling more wine on the carpet at 2. I'm not looking forward to the intervention when her Mum arrives next week but it will defly be a relief. RSW has even offered to be there with me when it happens. That was beyond lovely and touched my deeply buried heart. I feel ever so selfish focusing on my own exhaustion and emotional depletion at dealing with someone else's addiction downfall, but it's nice to know that someone will be there to give me a little TLC as well.

As soon as the OR is in her facility recovering, I have decided to take myself off for a mini break. I need to be out of the flat and in a totally quiet and relaxing environment for a few days. I'm going to treat myself to a facial and a massage and not think about anything but being quiet and wearing uber soft and comforting clothes for two or three days. Bliss. Right now my fave option is Babington House. Beyond perfect!

Wardrobe Summary: Black stacked pumps with bow detail, sheer hosiery, black pencil skirt, black and white polka dot Cavalli knit, pearls, tiffany bracelet, Fendi watch, diamond rings. Hair: blow dried and straightened. Make up: depleted. Eyes: falling out of head. Pedi: red or dead. Mani: french.

Floss xxx

Attack of the Drunken Onion Ring

It's official. My three weeks of peace and bliss are over. During a casual dinner party comprising of Madam Wong, GK and moi the Onion Ring stumbled back in from her holiday. She was beyond trolleyed. Apparently she had spent seven hours in an airport on her own and decided that drinking her way through it would be her best option. Dear Lord. So she crashed my dinner conversation and took over trying to regale us with stories of her holiday. The only bit I could understand was that her room in Milan had a massive LCD tv mounted on the wall. Classic Onion Ring. She would walk away angry with us if we didn't look interested enough. However, Madam Wong was lovely enough to show some interest and tried to interact with whatever it was she was talking about. This was met with contempt, utter rudeness and a proper telling off. Poor Madam Wong. Both GK and MW noticed that I went totally white and looked like I was going to cry as she kept stumbling round the house nattering on and crashing on our little party.

After about twenty minutes she went to the shop for "butter and eggs". She went straight back into her room and all we could hear was the clanging of wine bottles. MW left and GK and I got ready for bed after cleaning up. After I was starting off to sleep GK texted me that she was struggling to get Onion Ring to get off the pull out couch watching tv so she could get some sleep! The poor thing! Then she yelled at GK for having the handset for the phone. I should mention here that she had stumbled through our little party and taken it to her room earlier.

As we speak she is sitting in my living room making it smell like stale pickles playing on her laptop. She's still unemployed, she's still late with her rent and she's still an out of control alcoholic. GK has a job interview tomorrow. I so want her to hurry up and get a job so that I can give the Onion Ring her notice! Clearly all plans to sell the flat are on hold for the moment. There is no way anyone would make an offer on the place as long as she's there. Keep everything crossed for us!

Nocturnal stumblings of the OR mean that both Gemma and I have had very little sleep. The dark circles under my eyes are making me look older than I need to. Drats.

Wardrobe Summary: Black bow detail pumps, black opaque tights, bottle green knee high skirt with over sized button detail and a little sparkle, black loopy top. Hair: blow dried and straightened. Make Up: Nars Emotional Rescue palette.

Floss. xxx

PS: The RSW is back in town. I am almost ready to give him back the SoH status. All RSW behaviour is practically forgotten. Bliss.

My Cat Is the Best Shopper

I love my mushie cat so much. He gave me the most gorgeous pair of shoes for Christmas! I'm wearing them as we speak. They're wooden platformed super high stilettos with a gorgeous red peep toe. I love them beyond words.

Wardrobe summary: insanely stunning footwear a la mushie cat, charcoal high waisted Ungaro skirt, white tuxedo shirt, red scarf, white gold and diamond R pendant, silver bangle, diamond rings, black strap watch. Make Up: Nars emotional rescue palette. hair, pony tail with two skinny black head bands. Pedi: Red or dead. Mani: french extensions. Loving the new extensions.

New Years Day with GK was great! We walked from my house to the London Eye and Westminster! It was 8 miles and we totally legged it. I can't wait to do it again but I strained my foot doing it and now I'm a bit of a cripple. Lucky for me it feels more comfy in heels than flats! Yay! Perfect excuse to wear my stiletto feather "slippers" around the flat! hee hee!

GK has been staying with me for a week and leaves again on Thursday for a few days. It looks like she nearly has a job! Yay! That means I can give evil Onion Ring her notice and have her out of my place! I'm ever so excited about this development. Onion Ring is due back on Sunday night. I can't tell you how glad I am that GK will be there with me to endure the pain of it all. We're cranky at each other as I'm pestering her for being a week late with her rent again. Moo.

I'm loving 2007. It's so so so much better than hideous 2006 was. It's going to be brilliant and amazing and terrific so defly watch this space!

Kisses and love,

Floss xxx