Please Explain

Please find following a list of things confusing me at the current moment:

• How is the Onion Ring still in my flat?


• How is the Onion Ring still drunken?


• Why haven't the parental Rings not been in touch with me again?


• Why haven't the parental Rings come to get the Onion Ring out of a drunken hole?


• How does the Onion Ring survive on a diet of pickles, Indian take out, Dominoes, wine?


• Why does the Onion Ring get joy out of seeing the neighbours getting kicked out of their apartment seeing as their landlord hadn't been paying his mortgage? (bad man)


• Will I ever figure out the pattern to the Onion Ring's erratic mood swings?


• What does the Onion Ring do in her room for all those hours? - Those of you that know about "the monster" please don't even go there!


• What will I do for the Onion Ring's upcoming birthday so I don't look like a grinch but I don't go too far out of my way?


• Will I shake this feeling of cabin fever with a bar hopping trip to Soho tonight?


• Will my uber cheap hair cut and colour tomorrow afternoon be a good or a v v v v v bad idea?


• How is it that I always gain two pounds on a Friday, work it off all week being virtuous and put it on again every Friday?


• Why is it that I can no longer sleep in my own flat? I require the peace I get from being in the homes of others now, yet I love my bed beyond all others.


• Will my flat ever look stylish again or has the OR trashed it forever?


• Will I ever get my head around limescale and it's removal from my shower.


• Will I be able to get cheap airfares to get home to my beautiful, wonderful yet poorly baby Kingston?


• Will I ever rise above the bad mood I woke to this morning?


• Will I ever feel truly stylish?


• Will I ever stop moaning - well - I'm going to relieve you of it for the moment so I guess that's a little progress.

Wardrobe Summary: black to match my mood. Black faux snakeskin stacked pumps, black opaque tights, black short v-neck dress, pink scarf. Hair: Down and dirrty blonde. Make Up: Nars Emotional Rescue palette, red lipstick. Diamond Rings, Black strap watch.

Floss. x