My Baby Love

My Baby is poorly. I'm so sad. I want to go home and give him a cuddle so much. I feel so bad that I haven't been back for so long and he thinks I don't love him. I miss him so much. No one smells as good or gives as good cuddles as my Muschka.

I'm too sad for a wardrobe summary. It's essentially a black stretch skirt with a red gucci-esque pattern and a black shirt.

I'm in my Thirties! Woo!

I've had one of my best birthdays ever! Yesterday was just terrific! When I got into work birthday breakfast was set up and ready! How amazing is that! I was the most spoitl girl in London while it took over an hour to work my way through the present unwrapping whilst eating veggie chocolate cake! Yumm!

Above is the darling notebook I got as part of my present from my buddies at work. They made me feel like a princess for a day. Have you ever used a pink crystal encrusted mouse and a pink pen with feathers that lights up? I do now and I don't think I can ever go back! It's beyond amazing!

Precious and Pouncer even figured out how to send me a bunch of roses! They're such clever little kittens!!!

Birthday wardrobe summary: Black suede peep toe sling backs, black hosiery, grey Givenchy-esque dress. Hair: retro-esque pony tail. Make up: Era spray on foundation, limited edition stila pink, peach and chocolate eye shadows, Chanel black eyeliner, electric pink Stila creme cheek colour, Stila lipstick in Lisa, Stila lipgloss in Raspberry.

Mood: Euphoric, Sheepish after being so spoilt, Pink!

xxx

Fear of 31?

I'm pooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlllllllllyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! I thought there was a small, furry animal burrowing around my insides yesterday and went home thinking it was just from possibly eating carbs and protein too close together or some such. A Carmen Electra Fit To Strip workout didn't help me. An aloe and garlic irrigation gave me some temporary relief. I thought I had sorted myself out - hooray!!!!! Flash forward to 2.30 this morning. Three hours of trying to get back to sleep and not being able to due to the horrific aches I was suffering! Luckily little Pouncer was being a snuggle cat and was keeping me company while I lay awake contemplating getting up to do some housework.

This morning I put my brave face on and came into work and dug into my morning porridge. Clearly I took my carb blockers along with it! Rock on 12.00 and lack of blood sugar regularity requires carbs - many and quickly. What a brilliant excuse to eat chippies!!!!!!!! I adore chips with vinegar and ketchup! They were heaven. Except that little furry animal is digging its way though my insides again. Do you think it could be a marsupial?

I'm wondering if I'm subconsciously fearful of my birthday tomorrow. I'm ageing as we speak! The other thing that makes me sad is that the RSW didn't accept my heartfelt apology for the meanness that was my ranting blog entry. Do you think I'll ever be forgiven?

Wardrobe Summary: poorly person outfit: Black pumps, black opaques, black long sleeved dress, pink scarf, grey cape jacket.

Public Apologies, Retractions and a Little Burlesque Dancing...

SD and I had our birthday party on Friday night. We dragged our friends to a burlesque and pole dancing class. I am pleased to say that we took away a posse of converts that had a brilliant time and are keen to do it again! Yay!!! It was so much fun and I totally discovered my inner pin up girl!!! Photos to follow as soon as I can figure out how on earth to get the images from my phone onto this website!!! It's so much harder than everyone makes it sound!

Meanwhile, as part of the evening's fun, SD related my misbehaviours of the previous weekend. RSW - I'm more than sorry for my rant last week. SD informs me there was more to it than I remember - details of which are not appropriate for my lovely little blog page. However, I'm really sorry and if I could take it back, I would. But I will say that the tantrum was terribly cathartic for more reasons that just the weekend so a thousand thanks to you for giving me a ranting platform.

SD - I had noooooo idea how troublesome I had been. No one needs a 5' 4" 3 year old to look after at a fun party. I promise to be properly behaved forever more.

Wardrobe Summary: Black pumps, sheer hosiery, charcoal high waisted Ungaro skirt, black top with loopy detail. Black strap watch, gold and white gold bangle. Bulgari frameless glasses. Bejewelled butterfly hair pin. Make Up: Stila limited edition eye shadows in pink, apricot and chocolate, Stila creme cheek colour in electric pink, Philosophy Kiss Me.

Fashionista Diaries

You are all to start following Soapnet's Fashionista Diaries. My sweet sweet TP is in it and is the best character they have to offer! The whole thing would be nothing without her fabulousness!!! I'm like a proud moma.

Meanwhile, SD and I are having a joint b'day party tonight. I don't want to go!!!!! I'm having an uber fat-spotty-hideous-socially unacceptable day. I want to be back under the covers in my lovely comfy bed in denial that the light of day has broken and watching Precious and Pouncer try to tear each other's ears off. They're sooooo adorable. Precious was having massive separation anxiety and wanting constant cuddles when I was getting ready this morning.

Tonight's "celebration" includes a pole dancing and burlesque dance class before we go to a club. My wardrobe solution to this dilemma is a super short light khaki dress that has a pleated skirt on it with dark maroon short shorts underneath and super high brown gucci peep toes.

Wardrobe Summary for the day and post dance class: Black suede peep toes, black opaque tights, seriously short purple French Connection dress with key hole back and flared sleeves from the elbow down. Textured pony tail. Make Up: Limited edition peach, pink and chocolate Stila eyeshadows, Chanel black eyeliner, electric pink Stila creme cheek colour, dark pink Stila lipstick, Stila lipgloss in Fruitpunch.

Somewhat Calmer

I think it's mostly the lack of sleep I've been getting thanks to Precious and Pouncer (in the picture) keeping me awake with their nocturnal adventuring - but I'm a little calmer today than I was yesterday. RSW emailed me to say I was tres far away from the truth yesterday. I'm not sure how that works when I was mostly ranting about how he makes me feel and how I feel towards him. Who does he think he is telling me how accurate I am about how I feel? He's beyond evil.

Meanwhile, I had therapy this morning. My poor therapist, I started off telling her how I've started my studies and I got my new job. She was thrilled. Then I launched into how my weekend went and how I've not been able to eat, etc since. We talked about how I need to be prepared for set backs in the near future in case things don't go brilliantly with the cottage and the job while it's all in the pipeline. I don't deal with stress like this at all so it's felt like there is a spin cycle going on in my stomach ever since. The only upside of all this emotional turmoil is weight loss. Hooray!

It's terribly good timing. SD and I are having a joint birthday party on Friday. We're going for a private pole dancing lesson with friends. Well, her friends at least. T was the only one of my friends actually able to make the date once pushed to RSVP. Another subject thoroughly discussed this morning. Meanwhile, seeing as I need to get dressed up in short shorts and a little top with heels for the lesson, I'm really not going to start complaining about the lack of appetite. In fact, bring it on!!!!!

Happy Birthday, SD. I think you're gorgeous and terrific and stunning.

Wardrobe Summary: I brushed my hair! In fact, I even washed it! It's now wavy and up in a bejewelled pin in a messy bun. Black pumps, sheer hosiery, grey Audrey/Givenchey-esque dress, silver cuff, black strap watch. Make Up: hot pink Stila creme cheek colour, Philosophy kiss me lips, mascara.

RSW HATRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The RSW really must be put out to the Island of Lost Men never to return. I hate him. He's evil. WHY would he show up to a party I was most obviously going to be at? WHY would he insist on speaking to me? WHY would he ask me to dance with him then drag me outside to have an argument when I said no? WHY would I then feel bad and share my bottle of champagne with him? WHY do I not remember anything after that and have to hear in the morning about how he tried to kiss me on his way home? WHY would he involve me in his emotional messiness when he KNOWS I'm still on the happy pills and in therapy after all the terrible things he has done to me??? WHY did I need the lovely girl behind the bar to give me three bottles of champagne all to myself so I could get through the evening without having a nervous breakdown? WHY does he have the power to emotionally crumple me up like a used tissue that he's blown his nose on? WHY does he only have an interest in me when he's bored or off his trolley? I HATE HIM! I HATE HATE HATE HIM! I wish I could put a photo of his head on this knife holder and take out my HATRED for him on it! Thank GOD I have therapy in the morning. It's all too much for one little girl.

Wardobe summary: Too bored to bother with getting dressed up today. Black stacked pumps, sheer hosiery, grey and pale blue plaid dress with Westwood style neckline. Hair: pony tail with hair unbrushed since Saturday afternoon. Make up - stila hot pink creme cheek colour, mascara, Stila Grape lipgloss.

Mood: manic depressive psychopathic.

Good Times...Bad Times

Good Times

• I have a new job that I really like
• I'm a nerd and am enjoying my work related studies
• I'm going to a party on the weekend with my darling SD

Bad Times

• I have a conference call for an hour that I've been on for two minutes - I'm already bored and not absorbing any of the info. Oh dear
• I still haven't exchanged on my flat
• It looks like I will have to wait a couple of weeks between moving out of my flat and into the new place
• Do I want to get a puppy to keep my kittens company or am I just taking it too far - issues that keep me awake at night.

Wardrobe Summary

Not my best day. Black pumps, sheer hosiery, grey plaid skirt, white short sleeved top, silver bangle, black strap watch, silver and baltic amber necklace. Hair: velcro rollered pony tail. Make Up: limited edition stila pink, peach and chocolate eyeshadows, chanel black eyeliner, stila electric pink creme cheek colour, stila bright pink lipstick, stila fruit punch lip gloss. Clear polished nails.